Continuum

This self-portrait is deeply intertwined with the memory of my late father and serves as a companion piece to his portrait from his younger years. In his portrait, he is depicted wearing a blue shirt adorned with 21 sunflowers, each representing a year he spent as my dad. My self-portrait mirrors this with me reaching towards the viewer, wearing a blue shirt with 2 sunflowers, signifying the years that have passed since his death.

Both portraits are set against the backdrop of space, symbolizing the idea that we are made of stardust and that, in death, we return to this cosmic state. However, my background also includes specks of black, red, and yellow paint. These colors reference another of my works, “Sundered,” which captures the moment I received the devastating news of my father’s passing. The black, red, and yellow specks represent the chaotic and haunting feelings I experienced when I blocked out the news and later attempted to call him, only to be met with the incessant ringing that marked the realization of his absence.

This painting is not just a reflection of my grief but also a tribute to the enduring connection I feel with my father. The sunflowers in both portraits symbolize the years of our bond and the ongoing impact of his presence in my life, even after his passing.